The court system is slanted towards females and discount mails have a very high percentage even if the actual care of the children isn't safe. the courts believe any underlying laws that were actually put in place that males are unable to go and raise children in are not able to give the necessary foundation for children to be healthy. Legal system coupled with the support structure that's supposed to help children in need, has a bias towards females and does not support in any way shape or form the males in the parenting of children.
In my personal case it was OK for the mother to leave the father off of the birth certificate to collect additional funds from the state and federal government system , and in some ways is rewarded for not having the father on the actual documentation. What this causes is additional cost to the father to go and challenge the mother through DNA testing and through the court system so that the father can actually go and have a relationship with the children. In my case particular , the mother decided that I should not be in the children's life he should not be living with the mother and the children so as she can go and collect additional funds. When my daughter was born the grandmother told me not to stick around because I will screw up the mothers welfare payments.
Heartbroken and distraught I went home and I spoke with my parents about it and let them know what was actually said. That the mother was not going to put me on the birth certificate and that I really had no real recourse, in her eyes, to do so. All this was done by the mother with the full knowledge that she would receive additional funds if she did not include me in the actual birth certificate.
To me I could have gotten away without any child support as she did not define me as the father. This would be for my first 2 oldest children and it would have saved me thousands of dollars in child support. The state didn't care about the Child Support at all. They didn't care about my rights. They did not go on even investigate who might be the father for these children. They completely went off of what the mother said in the actual documents saying there was no father and she didn't know who it was. Enter the government it was OK. It was fine that the mother decided not to define who the father was and in essence denied me without legal course of action the rights granted to a father to be part of the child's life .
So here is the quandary. I could walk away without having any financial obligations to the children. At anytime in the future the mother could go and say hey this is the father and I want child support from him. Which means it all of a sudden even though she decided at the beginning for me not to be part of the children's life she could at any given time at her whim say that I was the father and then have all the paternity tests done and then I would be on the hook for all of the money owed up until that point. At no time the denial of the mother that I was the father would ever come into the mix. The other side of the quandary is I would not have the ability to step into my children's life and to take it take a look at what's going on to see if there was any abuse or problems that I should have defeated.
The decision to petition the court for custody of the children and to pay the Child Support man take care whatever else I could was a decision that would financially wreck me for the next 25 years but would allow me to get an insight into what was happening within the actual household and with the children which to me was priceless. Without the Child Support order the abuse that my two oldest children went through would have gone unchecked and they would have been where soft in my eyes then if I had simply walked away.
And believe me walking away was an option. To go away Scott free from the crazy that I was dealing with and the heartbreak I was constantly going through because of the manipulation from the X , I would have been a lot more mentally healthy than I was during that time. The struggles I went through was far beyond what most people would have to deal with as I was not only dealing my own personal depression but the impact on my children and in the impact on my family around me. The desire to help the kids and try to get him some semblance of normalcy was paramount on my mind even though at every given turn both the mother and the grandmother were trying to cause as much noise and frustration to me as possible. No I knew I so you might ask how do you go and deal with that kind of crazy?
Day by day and struggle by struggle is the only way to deal with it. You have to look at each problem in each situation in a sort of sterile environment and deal with it one off. For instance children coming to visits without their psychological medications. You see the children when they come on on Friday in their fine on Saturday they seem to be OK but a little bit sleepy and then on Sunday during the day they go and lose their minds and you're like well what the Hell's going on. And then you find out that you know you ask a few questions in the next visit and the next visit you find out that there's Ritalin and other psychological drugs that are given to them during the week to keep him sedated any grandmother keeps the psychological drugs from them on their trips to see me.
this type of abuse in my particular cases actually more to control the children and sedate them than it was to actually go and help them become healthy. Mother in the grandmother shop psychologists and therapists to give them the diagnosis is they needed. Even so far as to go and get the diagnosis for the children being disabled so that the grandmother could receive disability benefits for all three of the children. The children didn't even know that they were on disability. The grandmother committed fraud by using the children as the way for her to go and gain money. And in her doing so irreparable harm to the children in the form of mental physical and psychological effect abuse.
And this was why with DSS in the picture getting repeated 51As filed onthe grandmother and the mother over the course of time with the children in their care. These 51As were filed By myself, by school officials, and by medical professionals in yet the state did not step in to go and protect the children. Even though there was actually our behavior showing that these children were being abused , no one in DSS would actually go on step forward and take care of the children.
No I may be talking a little bit harsh about DSS and the way they approach the children, but the way they treated me as a male in this situation up until the point where I actually got physical custody of my son was less than stellar. Being a custodial parent and not the one who had the sole physical custody of the children I should have been notified on each and every time there was a contact with the DSS person in the mother and the grandmother. There was a legal obligation of that organization to go and tell me what was going on and they failed to time and time again. I find out by accident my son has been place in a psychological group home. I find out injuries and medicines and doctors visits and psychological visits all by happenstance. I find out about the shopping for therapists and the fact that my kids are now disabled. All those things came to pass an not once to anybody from the government who is required to go and hold the law tell me exactly what's going on.
In my court battles with the children at the probate level and the family court level I would sometimes get a insight that I did not have before. And if I was not the type of guy who just goes and drives to get answers, I would not find out 2/3 of the things that I know now. Everything I have for information and everything that I have done was because I have a strong desire to know and understand. Most people don't have the time period and most people that are going through the court system at my age bracket did not have the mental fortitude to drive themselves through to the end.
I guess it's short you should really think long and hard as a male in this set in our society as to whether or not getting into a relationship with a female when you're not fixed meaning when you don't have your tubes tied so you can't get the girl pregnant, Is really something that you want to really be involved with. It's a no win situation for the male in that if she says that she was raped then the courts will believe that she was raped. If the courts deem you the father then you're stuck with child support even if the kid is not yours. Women are looking for fathers for their children Anne will use everything they have at their resources to go and capture you to go and be that resource to them. Young women don't necessarily love you they love what you can do for them and you get sucked into that hole chaotic environment and guess what , you will get her pregnant and you will be paying child support out for 20 plus years.
$320,000 I paid out in child support for my 3. Now I would pay that all over again to make sure that I was part of their lives and part of the decision making process, even know most of the time the women didn't allow you into the decision-making process. Yep I've had women go and say I'm going to move out of state, against everything that is said in the court order about the actual moving out of state with the chip room period they don't care period supposed to give you tax the tax cut every other year. But they don't they take it all for themselves and then they go and they file quicker that use that you have to file the amendment and all the other hassles and then you might get it back or not.
So if you decide to have it have a relationship with a woman when you are young and dumb and full of come, be ready that you're going to go and have the rest of your life to pay for the actual decision to have that 30 seconds of fun. It is not a pleasurable ride and it is so **** ** the kids who don't ask to get into the mess. A woman will be free to go on do anything that she wants without recourse and make accusations without recourse again and again just to make your life miserable and you will be paying for that for at least 20 years. That's some expensive sex. It will be better to buy yourself a night a week what the hooker then it would be to go and actually get into a relationship with a woman and have children.
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