What people say has to have special attention paid. In the words they say lies so much more than the smattering of phonetics. The out bursts and Freudian slips, both from others and from yourself are portals into what is happening behind the vale. As I was developing myself the skills of body language and interview forensics, I found that incongruities in what the person was saying and the way they held themselves, if I could get them in the right state, either myself of the individual would make a slip. In that slip, the seed came to the surface and in that was the information I needed.
This I saw in my kids as they grew up. When I was certain something was going on, but I would not know exactly what, I would make the statement, "I know what you are doing, and you should tell me the truth or face the consequences." Then I would leave the room, and the mumbling would start. In short order someone would confess, and in that confession I would get a glimpse into their mind and see where they were at.
Now I can hear the rants and curse words from so many, but they were not punished for what they told me. My response ran from neutral to praise depending of the information given. My management of the children had to be a stark difference to the environment they lived in. And with all the psychological medications I knew the kids to be on and the ones they didn’t tell me about, it was imperative that I dug deep in different ways.
For instance, I found out on numerous occasions that my son was sent to a psychological group home. This happened several times from the age of five through to the age of ten. Each time I heard the same story from the maternal grandmother, the boy had a fit and was becoming violent. Most times I would not find out about the intake until it was over as visits were cancelled because kids were sick or they just weren't there when I went to pick them up.
The funny thing about the way these events went about was that when I involved different ways to gather information about the goings on in that house, I heard a very different story. I heard of a grandmother who was physically and emotionally abuse. Stories about how she did not like boys and my son standing up to the grandmothers abuse. A five year old going toe to toe with an adult defending his brother and sister from a tyrant.
It would be easy to follow what other parents would have done and to not really listen to the adults. The first few times I did not understand what was happening, but as these problems continued I was able to put a plan together and start to make friction against the abuser and build a plan to get the kids out.
One was if there were ambulances at the house, call me. This allowed me to get to the Emergency Mental Health Intake and push for information. I only had to do this a few times to send a message and get records to find out what is going on.
On one occasion I was sitting down outside the space where the interviews were being taken, and my son I could see just on the other side of the glass door about fifteen feet away. He was sitting on the floor with his head down between his knees. The broken little man with no real hope. I did not try to get his attention as it was more important that I prayed during this encounter.
When I broke my meditation he was looking at me and the hope returned. He knew I was there and that he was going to be OK.
So many times after that day the grandmother abused me emotionally through my son. I was working sixty to seventy hours a week, and then trying to squeeze in some time for my kids. The burden and unequal laws around children and support that are female centric placed unnecessary stresses on, frequently living below poverty level for many years, fighting depression as my kids were used again and again against me.
Females may have the ability to get pregnant, but they do not have the innate ability to raise kids. In fact it has been shown that a child can more easily survive a absent dad than a misguided mother. The damage done by a woman who uses the children against the father, and based on the way the laws are set and the complete financial burden is frequently set squarely on the dad, at the detriment to not only the father but the kids, has always been a burning issue with me.
To put this in perspective, visitation is a right. It even says it in the court documents when you are filing. It is the law stating that legislators felt it was important enough to lay the framework in the law to protect the relationship of the father and his kids. In may case and in several others I have looked into, the female sees it as a privilege to have access to the children. And that access is only granted when she feels like it.
She knows a couple of things. The father is strapped for cash, so missing work and paying a lawyer to go to court most likely will not happen. This leaves her free to give out summaries such as demands, start fights, disappear with the kids out of state and so many other things that I have had done to me, without recourse. For me it was research "pro se" and the legal system to do things myself. Pay filing fees and set court documents to bring the grandmother to her knees.
Now most men do not have the drive as I do. They are beaten down my the estrogen charged side of the game. I will get into the different tools of battle of the male and female later on, but the idea is this. Men have gone into fights for thousands of years. And in those fights, they themselves could be physically hurt or die. Women have not done this. At most they have completed a support role which was on the healing or nurturing side of battle.
It is my opinion that as women in general are not as strong as men are, they developed a verbal judo designed to demoralize and demean as a way to push their displeasure bringing on a submissive response in men. Everything a female does, from showing flesh to makeup to the verbal assault unleashed on a male is designed to make a male psyche submit to their will.
So the constant berating of males from females is really two fold. One it is to wear their male down so that he will not want to fight and try to make the woman happy again. And to also "shit test" the male to see if he is still engaged with her and staying. There is also the chance that the fighting and kid manipulation is also an attempt to do what she wants but deny the males happiness.
In short, I had to file contempt charges three (3) times before a judge allowed the order with stipulations to have my kids ready for me at the prescribed times of the order. As I had external plumbing and most judges are "white knights" saving the females from men like me, in hindsight, I see why it took so long for me to get some sort of justice.
Again, if you have a pair of grapes and a banana swinging, the deck is stacked against you.
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