The Gloves Off Mentality

Women utilize an arsenal of weapons against their foe, the male.  There are the laws, crying, the Bermuda triangle, gossip, violence, the Police, false reports, the kids and the list goes on.  The tools all depend on what has stopped working.  And because we as males do not think as a woman does, we do not see the onslaught until it is upon us.

 

It is a nice day and I am going to pick up my children.  I arrive and knock at the door and no answer.  I call on the cell phone and here the phone inside the house ring, no answer.  I wait for thirty minutes at the house, and no one shows.  I leave a note tacked to the door saying I was there to pick up the kids at this time and I left at this time. 

 

The mother called about five hours later apologizing that the kids were so involved doing this or that, that she loss track of time.  Most men would be OK, just don't let it happen again.

 

We are soft because we use to have sex with her and she must still love me.  She would not cognitively try to keep me and my children separated.  Why would she do this to my kids, shes the mother.

 

No she is testing the resolve of the opponent.  When a woman separates from a man it is to reclaim and claim territory.  Especially in todays feminist driven world, the breakup is a plan to gain resources, such as child support and alimony and be free from the constraints of the relationship, which means screwing whoever she wants.  The set up is the utilization of all of the strings attached, such as kids, to cause brain fog and confusion so she can do whatever she wants and keep you off balance.

 

A disengaging from everything that seems right is a much better approach.  By this, when she acts poorly, ignore her, document what happened either by video, audio or at the very least written with dates times and witnesses, and then take the necessary legal action immediately the next business day.  She calls incessantly or stalks you on social media or in the real world, file a police report, get restraining orders on her.

 

You are not engaging in a fluffy pillow fight.  This is a verbal bare knuckle brawl.  Want to get dragged away to a jail cell because she decided to not allow a time out of your daughter to finish out in five minutes and call back and decided to push past you at the door and start rummaging through your things, so you remove her from your home, which is well with in your legal rights, so she scratches her legs, goes to the police and said you assaulted her, and you go to jail and have to spend hundreds of dollars getting through the legal mess.  Meanwhile, because you have this case opened and restraining orders, she is free to bring all kinds of abuse on your kids unchecked.

 

Not saying I lived this, but rest assured others have and are living this and it is all because we, did not utilize administrative violence, which we can do through the courts.  If I executed a full legal battle and sought to disrupt her first or at least more frequently than she did me, then the arrest and court problem would not have happened.  I did not place a restraining order on her, even though there was more than enough evidence to do so.  In this case, she would have been arrested as she showed up at my place.

 

Now, the documentation of all events needs to be done and it is work.  From my experience, it is easier to fight battles with a notebook then to unravel the mess from memory.  Handing a judge or the police a timestamped video showing the female in full color meltdown is something to behold.  Vindication by submission of guilt and best yet, lying in court and lying to a police officer.  Winning.

 

As men we want to not fight.  We would rather walk away and stay away from harm.  Women on the other hand have a propensity to gain the upper hand in a situation through any means necessary as  the male is no longer the partner, but a resource. 

Where everything has gone

It has been 28 years since my adventure started.  Well over 70 court dates and $300,000 in child support later, I sit on the time when all of the chaos is clearing. 

At this point many external plumbing wonder what the heck happened and how did I get so messed up.  Many of guys like me spent the better part of the 25 years working to make ends 60 to 70 hours a week,  All the while the knuckleheads I impregnated where right there selling the narrative that I was a bad dad because I could not spend time with my children, all the while, the "Mom" was going back to court asking for more money.

I watched one of the women I had children with work only 270 days in her 30 plus years in the work force.  She spawned 5 other children, collected from the state and lost mine and the 5 others to the state.  From the two that I had with her, she has stolen from, called in false accusations and even went so far as to throw my adult son down a flight of stairs bruising his shoulder and back.  

Both of these children have grown up and are doing fine.  I never bad mouthed their mother, but trusted time tells the truth until recently when my kids came to me and asked direct questions.  They both call her by her first name and not Mom.  Their decision, not mine.  They both call me Dad, again their decision not mine. 

It is a privileged and an honor to be part of their lives, as I truly do not feel I deserve it.  For these two are a testament to staying calm and loving them and getting out of their way to allow them to grow, regardless of what I thought was right or wrong. 

Too many times we get caught on perceptions or ego moments which cause drama,  We have to back up and look at what is a real problem and what is just something we should let go. Most of the crap I wasted my time on is not even relevant to where my kids and myself ended up.

Both women are messed up and like the mess they live in.  I cannot help nor do I want to as that turmoil they cook up is toxic.  It is like the air line personal who tells you to put on the air mask first and then help others.  I stay away, at arms length or greater, because unfortunately for my children, that toxic air always hits them, so I stay clear to pull them out and get them right.